Jell-o has spent over 130 years trying to market jiggle like this and have seemingly failed miserably. Turns out all you need is a one-bedroom apartment in Lithuania and growing up without a father to really capture maximum chlamydia velocity.
Seeing a condom in one of these random hookup videos is actually becoming a rare occurrence. Both Mountain Dew and Plan B thank you for your contributions.
Social media misfit suffering from the combo of attention whoring & bug-eyed bitch syndrome performs the unhealthiest act of eroticism I've witnessed since girl_shits_herself_at_limp_bizkit_concert.mp4. Didn't see that one? ur missing out.
A public service announcement on the cons and cons of searching for discounted hookers lurking in Craigslist's general section. If the intimate relationship with $5 scratch off tickets doesn't erect your cock, the aroma of Newport Menthols will.
Thought were gonna make it 3 volumes of woman decorating their reproductive systems with everything not bolted down at Home Goods, and not get a visit by the only pornstar that could land a Dyson sponsorship? You thought wrong.
2:00 AM, face down and dressed like she just got done cleaning a traveling circus bathroom with her bare hands. If that isn't enough to bring your chicken nugget to maximum crispiness, then you clearly haven't spent a weekend in Romania.
Not the plan of attack I recommend you try on the misses. But when you're Mimi Cica, anything that doesn't run on a turbo diesel engine seems to be fair game...
Imagine thinking you're going to get a few warm up rounds, and before you can get your last gulp of Starbies down you're already dodging an onslaught of haymakers. Possible life reflection moment happening in real time around 21:46.
Step sister, third cousin, disabled mental patient that smells like expired mashed potatoes; You degenerates can label this video with whatever tags you want, nothing short of contracting buttpox is stopping a dive below that waistline.
A question for the gentleman who choose this method as an introduction to anal for their significant other: What exactly is your pregame vetting process? Seems to me locking her into the floor keeps you in the soft serve blast zone at all times.
She's not exactly equipped with a porn poker face. So when the director screams action, you know that corpsing smile is authentic. Reminiscent of a reoccurring dream I keep having involving Kirstie Alley and Long John Silver’s Cocktail Sauce.
I respect a man that can make a white girl stop in her tracks faster than Target 1/2 off clearance sale by simply removing his Nike Dri-FITs, and hangin' some brain.
Probably just reached drinking age and is already setting the bar too high for the other Insta-THOTS to jump over. I don't know if I should be disgusted, or slide in those DM's and ask for group discounts. According to this footage, they do exist.
Willing humiliation, being choked unconscious and receiving more hits than one of those bullshit primitive building channels. No, it's not Connor's return to the octagon. But it's still gonna cost you $79.99 if her 1st name has a hyphen in it.
If this is what passes for eroticism in Russia, I think we have a problem. Pretty sure I don't wanna know who's erection rigidity is decided by how many bananas, 4-Lokos and menopausal women appear in the videos they save to desktop.
Dude being completely naked down to his feet has to be noted here. A proponent for personal freedom, or reducing drag in order to achieve maximum velocity?
Most 19-year-olds work their way into college and learn trigonometry. Others are in it for the networking. Me? I moved to skidrow and documented hobos smoking meth and performing communal rimjobs. A revolutionary concept at the time.
All I see is jealousy. Well... maybe "jealous" is the wrong word as it would imply she gives half a shit about public image. Trust me; she doesn't. I've been inside a White Castle at 2:00AM. I know what antipathy and diseased meat looks like.
If that isn't the look of a girl that's admitted to losing her virginity to a mailbox, I don't know what is. Now get your ass back to changing room #3 and clean up. Not even China Buffet exposes their customers to substances this retched.
Coors Light expert zones out her surroundings just long enough to focus on better things. I.E. getting a faceful of Kentucky's finest directly into her minge. I'm waiting for the sequel. The one where Lester makes a b-line for that b-whole.
Well shit, with proportions and elasticity like that I'll gladly lower my standard and line up at the brillo pad elephant dick barbershop with the rest of em. #noregrats
My gut tells me soon after this video finished, her status as "loyal girlfriend" was about as believable as the Fast & Furious franchise stopping after the 47th movie.
This is standard im having a quarterlife crisis so I'm gonna filter the shit out of my face and make a TikTok account syndrome. Fortunately for us, the Internet gives the gift of social media to bridge the eventual gap into Walmart parking lot porn.
For the 99.3% of the world that gives less than a shit about the TikTok hierarchy; That's Bella Poarch in the thumbnail. And the right side is the end result of some giga SIMP feverishly finishing his and/or her weekly dose of Ritalin in a single day.
