Rebecca's first time in Stinktown USA proves memorable. For the guy trying to double-dip, not her. Binging Dr. Phil episodes is going to erase this memory faster than me getting permabanned from Home Depot for stress testing toilet displays.
Ever find yourself asking the question: What would happen if you spiked Freddy Kreuger's Ambien with boner pills, let Michael Myers into a glory hole and told Jason Voorhees that teenage pussy has a better use than pitchfork storage?
Nothing special here. Just your yearly reminder that her rockbottom, last attempt to stay relevant-sex tape has not been created yet. But trust me... it's priced in.
Tired of jacking off to the same old fantasies of Cardi B in a bath tub full of Velveeta cheese and want the next best thing? How about the bi-product of a 50,000-Karma Reddit account? I'm talking fatal levels of simp neckbearding here.
Blatant use of vaginas, Public shaming, High definition cameras -- this video is more well-rounded than the Grand Slam breakfast bill I ran out on this morning. The kicker is in the last video clip. Really brings me back to the glory (hole) days.
You can go ahead and brag about your 14 inches of lethal force all you want bruh. If you're not using it to turn all white vaginas into a bowl of Bob Evans Mashed Potatoes, it's about as useful as a hot shower is to this mentally stable female.
And by shocked I mean quietly contemplating how far into insanity social media and attention whoring has pushed society. Crazyshit.com makes these Efukt-ish videos regularly and they officially changed my life for the worse. More [HERE]
Nevermind the fact that she talks like a slightly upgraded version of Stan's tard sister on Southpark. What I really want to know is what's up with this new trend of bodily fluids being replaced with Nickelodean slime. And I want to know now.
Her name is "Alisonfire" but I prefer the moniker "reason I have to buy 2-ply toilet paper in bulk". Fun Fact #1: She's famous for making the world wait half a decade for wiener-on-vag action. Fun Fact #2: 173,000 of her Pornhub views are from me.
Today we're going to learn 3 imporant things, so find your trapper keeper and listen closely: #1: Shamelessness is alive and well. #2: Usage of a pretty girl is negotiable. And #3: A guy shaped like GRU has seen more action than me today.
Don't know the movie, don't give a shit either. But I have no doubt this surprise walkout was caused by a combination of: tucked wiener, unkempt rectal regions and chainsmoking the likes of which Alabama trailer parks have yet to experience.
You just can't go back after this. She'll forever be known as the super THOT of Bumblefuck Alabama. She's essentially a walking, twitching Reddit activist for open sexuality... yet stays in good spirit knowing this vid is going straight to IG.
I'm digging the pre-sodimizing acting. That's what porn is missing: A relatable leading actress that's been kicked out of Big Bang Theory's catering truck. Twice.
Call her what you will: Gianna Dior, Divine Box... I prefer the moniker "the reason I have to apply aloe vera to my penis every 3-5 hours". Never before has a pornstar made me proud of the reward points I earned shopping exclusively at Walgreens.
Pretty slick combination of fuckery and remorse going on here. side note: This site makes this kind of compilation video for every update they post (among all their other efukt-inspired edits) and that's not just cool... it's COOL AS ICE
Sociopaths play their Blue-Eyed White Domestic Abuse cards in attack mode. The end result? A record-setting 4 minute tutorial of what not to do when your Tinder match finally says yes to Chicken Nuggets & Chill.
When you're moist enough to be lubed under water, and have more lung capacity than a Navy Seal - you should be recognized for your natural born gifts. Call Emma Stone & tell there's been a recount for that Oscar Award.
I was spaghetti soft until the camera panned 12 inches south. Fucking hell, this chick is 1 injection of anesthesia away from experimental cornhole surgery & she's rippin one out like the lifeboats were deployed. I'm in love?
Newbie tries to escape the wrath of an erect black man by slowly inching away... but the beast refuses to relent. A suicide dive is her only salvation.
Don't let the cute face & lack of Valtrex in this video fool you: Even the hot ones make mistakes in the eternal quest for 11 seconds of Instagram fame.
Not since walking into a waffle house at 2 AM have I seen such disrespect for the lower half of a brown female. And just like the riot that ended that night, he has no intent of letting $39 worth of plastic surgery go to waste.
Technique can redeem just about anything - bad hygiene, irregular tits, liking The Big Bang Theory. But HER? She's got skills like a Chinese flutist & all I can think about is pairing her up with up with this genetic jackhammer.
