spoiler: it's the pepperoni-scented Call of Duty veteran getting his pickle popped, not the other way around. Apparently tha bros thought it would be hilarious to pay an escort to give Stewart the best 2.5 minutes of his life. Another spoiler: It is.
If facial expressions tell a story, I'd say this hog hopper just blasted through the entire Lord of The Rings trilogy and got halfway into the spinoffs in less time than it takes to shit myself after Panda Express egg rolls. (also known as: warp speed)
Well shit, I have a first edition Fruit of the Loom boxer briefs double-pack for anyone that can track down a girl like this that actually responds to chivalry. No charge for the designer skidmarks. You can find more of her defilement [ here ]
Nice face. Great spirit. But what really gets u is the idea of someone committing to dating this specimen exclusively. Imagine the pill addiction. :100: :thinking_face:
The true legacy Amber Blank has left behind in the world of cuckolding is kind of frightening when you think about it. Edit: It looks like she's still active to this day or someone is trying to monetize a defunct amateur pornstar's content. #mystery
More dead ends behind those eyes than an apartment building in Silent Hill, but the box squeezes harder than a retard a petting zoo so sacrifices will be made.
Like the thunderdome, a Woody casting means two enter but only 1 leaves with a working sphincter. The following rush to Costco's adult diaper section is usually a dark day in the victim's life... but not today. Double BOOM. Double DOOM. [more]
Life Lesson #27: If you have worse rectal control than one of the golden girls; seek out another hobby. Last time I saw someone pay for skidmarking this abusive he was ultimately banned from Chipotle at the corporate level. (it was me) [more]
Super hot but prob spends all day yappin like her defenses are impenetrable, then 1 goink to the wrinkled copper slot makes her hit windows_shutdown.wav. #msc
The story may be 10lbs of bullshit. But at least it's employment bullshit and not inter-family uncle dad father dishwasher bullshit. That's real progress. [MiaKink]
Especially if u aren't stone cold sober during daylight hours. One wrong angle and you run the risk of turning her innie into an outtie. It's called "the heat seeking carmel farmer" and it's the #3 reason for divorce, right behind finances & Reddit.
Eyes like Steve Buscemi, squirts like a fire hydrant and looks like the all-Klonopin diet is holding on for dear life. In other words; You will never be this erect again.
Definitely a more pleasant experience than my first time witnessing this behavior in the butcher's line of a Whole Foods. Apparently expiration dates are negotiable.
This condition is more commonly known as "high maintenance". It happens when all ur sexual experience comes from Ikea tutorial videos, so you seek the refuge of sigma males that have less communication skills than The Undertaker. #sad
Looks like the kind of video set up by a guy one anime character re-voicing away from a total nervous breakdown. Lesson learned I guess? Never trust the AirBNB advertisement with the words "my mom only works nightshift" in the fine print.
More use of a fish eye lens than a Bam Margera skateboard compilation and exceptional proportions have manifested in the greatest compliment our boy has gotten since the glory days of Yahoo chat. Life can only go down from here.
Good luck catching a glimpse of tier-A poon like this around the corner from Pizza Hut express. It might be time for me to dust off the ole passport and start getting that cultural diversity CNN is screeching about. [MORE OF HER HERE]
Pretty decent. You'd probably give up the last half of your Costco chicken bake if she could teach your girlfriend how to do this without a handle of Smirnoff first.
Not sure what actually happened here, but it doesn't look like an unannounced serving of Jossepi's homemade alfredo sauce was the reason for a time out. If you listen closely, it sounds like a neighbor was tired of the female's mating calls.
Halfway into this you may say to yourself: I haven't come across so much reason to develop erectile dysfunction on purpose since going down the lore on [this social media creature]. It truly is an unfortunate day to have functioning eyes.
Installing the "deprive myself of oxygen until I have the IQ of a bowl of spaghetti-o's" expansion pack may not be for everyone, but it's unquestionably a challenge.
